The First of Many Lasts
Hi friends!
Is everyone hanging in there? For our friends in physics, I'm very sorry lol, and I hope you guys did at least okay on your first quizzes.
I'm about to be hit with a week of midterms and quizzes, so I figured I should probably blog now before I go into hiding from my responsibilities...
Last Monday, I woke up and snapchatted some friends about how it was the last Math League meet of the season. One of them kindly asked me, "does that mean it's your last meet ever?" *Cue the dramatic music* And sure enough, just like that, three years of my life ended without anymore noise than any other last meet of any previous season.
Maybe I'm lucky in that it's almost March and it was only my first last time of something, or at least the first time I was faced with that realization. My senior friends certainly don't seem too bothered by any of it, instead brushing it off as just another last time. But I don't know if I can move on quite so easily. It was three years of my life. Three years of cramming for tests the morning of the meet, three years of epic victories and crushing defeats. Three years of math puns and math shirts that no one except math nerds ever laugh at. It was three years of finding my team-family and making friends with the dorks and also watching people I've known forever grow into their potential. And just like that, it's all done.
Then came the realization that OMG I'M AN ADULT. I'm moving on to college in six months. From there it's grad school or getting my first big girl job, and I have to learn to navigate life on my own. I have to learn how to file taxes :( *cue minor panic attack*.
That's the thing - it all sneaks up on you so quickly. You think that the walk across the stage at graduation is so far away, and that the real world is a safe distance beyond that, on the other side of that diploma. But is it?
It all begins slipping away, so fast that you realize graduation is no more than a formality. By the time I get to put on the cap and gown and wobble across that stage in high heels, every aspect of my previous life will be all tied up neatly. The end begins now.
And so begins the next part of my life. I will keep living one day after another, and somehow, some way, sometime soon all these changes won't seem so foreign. That's really the scariest part - that I will have to find some way to make all of this make sense.
But that's a problem for the future. For right now, I can only keep cherishing every day I have left with these people I grew up with. I have already said goodbye to my beloved competition teams, and it feels so weird to say that they are now in the hands of the juniors (because the juniors are basically babies still). The thing is everyone says that you should appreciate every day you are given, that you should be grateful for every blessing. If you would've asked me a week ago whether or not I've done that, I would say yes. Now? I'm not so sure.
I guess that's what I'm trying to tell you all. Say what you want to say. Do the Thing. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Giggle over the silliest things. Talk to that person you were nervous about introducing yourself to. I am a fervent believer in not holding anything in your heart, and sometimes, it makes me sound really weird when I say the Thing. That doesn't mean I'll stop, because instead of wasting your time and effort turning the words over in your head, worrying about how the other person will react, why not just say it? Of course I'm not encouraging you to insult people, but the little things like "I really like that jacket, where did you get it?" or "I noticed you reading ___ the other day, do you enjoy it? Why?" are perfectly fine in my book. I even accidentally asked a guy "You don't eat paper do you?" Looking back, that was not my finest moment but I stand by the fact that it was half a joke and half a legitimate question.
Story time: I met this cutie in my math class in the last couple of weeks. This dork literally fawns over the little ^ symbol over the unit vectors ("the little hats"), and makes exclamations in German, and then proceeds to pull out his phone to double check his pronunciation - in the middle of class. Like I said, absolute cutie lol. If I never took the time to make that introduction those weeks ago, we would have never become friends, and even though he's a little odd (he's a self-identified loner apparently) he's a charming conversationalist and makes my life more interesting. I bet he's never been asked whether he eats paper or not, so maybe I make his life more interesting too... (it's a long story but I promise I didn't just out-of-the-blue ask him if he eats paper).
Moral of the story: live every day to the fullest. Enjoy every day of this period of your life where you can meet strangers and share a laugh over the most random things because in the next period of your life, you may not be able to. Shoot your shot if offered the chance - you never know how fleeting the opportunity is.
I know I never knew how fleeting all of this is, or that I would even miss some of it when it was done. Life's funny like that :)
Complimentary memes:
I feel like in life there are two types of people: those who are the mountain on the left, and those who are the mountain on the right. I think you know which one I am...
And a bonus because it's Valentine's Day week :)
Will you be my covalentine? <3
I have also had a song stuck in my head lately, so I thought I would share it with you all and see what you think: "Someday We'll Know" -New Radicals
Feel free to leave us a comment!!!!
Much love,
~Tempest
Is everyone hanging in there? For our friends in physics, I'm very sorry lol, and I hope you guys did at least okay on your first quizzes.
I'm about to be hit with a week of midterms and quizzes, so I figured I should probably blog now before I go into hiding from my responsibilities...
Last Monday, I woke up and snapchatted some friends about how it was the last Math League meet of the season. One of them kindly asked me, "does that mean it's your last meet ever?" *Cue the dramatic music* And sure enough, just like that, three years of my life ended without anymore noise than any other last meet of any previous season.
Maybe I'm lucky in that it's almost March and it was only my first last time of something, or at least the first time I was faced with that realization. My senior friends certainly don't seem too bothered by any of it, instead brushing it off as just another last time. But I don't know if I can move on quite so easily. It was three years of my life. Three years of cramming for tests the morning of the meet, three years of epic victories and crushing defeats. Three years of math puns and math shirts that no one except math nerds ever laugh at. It was three years of finding my team-family and making friends with the dorks and also watching people I've known forever grow into their potential. And just like that, it's all done.
Then came the realization that OMG I'M AN ADULT. I'm moving on to college in six months. From there it's grad school or getting my first big girl job, and I have to learn to navigate life on my own. I have to learn how to file taxes :( *cue minor panic attack*.
That's the thing - it all sneaks up on you so quickly. You think that the walk across the stage at graduation is so far away, and that the real world is a safe distance beyond that, on the other side of that diploma. But is it?
It all begins slipping away, so fast that you realize graduation is no more than a formality. By the time I get to put on the cap and gown and wobble across that stage in high heels, every aspect of my previous life will be all tied up neatly. The end begins now.
And so begins the next part of my life. I will keep living one day after another, and somehow, some way, sometime soon all these changes won't seem so foreign. That's really the scariest part - that I will have to find some way to make all of this make sense.
But that's a problem for the future. For right now, I can only keep cherishing every day I have left with these people I grew up with. I have already said goodbye to my beloved competition teams, and it feels so weird to say that they are now in the hands of the juniors (because the juniors are basically babies still). The thing is everyone says that you should appreciate every day you are given, that you should be grateful for every blessing. If you would've asked me a week ago whether or not I've done that, I would say yes. Now? I'm not so sure.
I guess that's what I'm trying to tell you all. Say what you want to say. Do the Thing. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Giggle over the silliest things. Talk to that person you were nervous about introducing yourself to. I am a fervent believer in not holding anything in your heart, and sometimes, it makes me sound really weird when I say the Thing. That doesn't mean I'll stop, because instead of wasting your time and effort turning the words over in your head, worrying about how the other person will react, why not just say it? Of course I'm not encouraging you to insult people, but the little things like "I really like that jacket, where did you get it?" or "I noticed you reading ___ the other day, do you enjoy it? Why?" are perfectly fine in my book. I even accidentally asked a guy "You don't eat paper do you?" Looking back, that was not my finest moment but I stand by the fact that it was half a joke and half a legitimate question.
Story time: I met this cutie in my math class in the last couple of weeks. This dork literally fawns over the little ^ symbol over the unit vectors ("the little hats"), and makes exclamations in German, and then proceeds to pull out his phone to double check his pronunciation - in the middle of class. Like I said, absolute cutie lol. If I never took the time to make that introduction those weeks ago, we would have never become friends, and even though he's a little odd (he's a self-identified loner apparently) he's a charming conversationalist and makes my life more interesting. I bet he's never been asked whether he eats paper or not, so maybe I make his life more interesting too... (it's a long story but I promise I didn't just out-of-the-blue ask him if he eats paper).
Moral of the story: live every day to the fullest. Enjoy every day of this period of your life where you can meet strangers and share a laugh over the most random things because in the next period of your life, you may not be able to. Shoot your shot if offered the chance - you never know how fleeting the opportunity is.
I know I never knew how fleeting all of this is, or that I would even miss some of it when it was done. Life's funny like that :)
Complimentary memes:
I feel like in life there are two types of people: those who are the mountain on the left, and those who are the mountain on the right. I think you know which one I am...
And a bonus because it's Valentine's Day week :)
I have also had a song stuck in my head lately, so I thought I would share it with you all and see what you think: "Someday We'll Know" -New Radicals
Feel free to leave us a comment!!!!
Much love,
~Tempest
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